Sunday, September 21, 2008

This Really Isn't My Style...

What I'm about to blog is not at all my style. I'm not really the let all your feelings out for all the world to see kind of girl. But for the next few sentences, I will be.

Unsettled. Do you ever feel that way? Like a baby being lifted out of it's crib, not knowing where it will end up. Back in the crib? In a parent's protective embrace? On the changing table? In the high chair? I feel that way now.

Unclear. There are so many changes stirring right now. Changes I wish I even remotely understood. But I don't. I feel like a puzzle piece trying to find its place in a constantly changing landscape. Perhaps - if the changes could relegate themselves to just one, or even two areas of my life - perhaps then I might be able to catch my breath, take a moment, renew my perspective. But no.

Uncomfortable. I love home. I love security. But I'm short on both right now. Compared to millions my discomfort is something they would trade for in a heartbeat. I know it's comparably small, but it matters to me. So I have to believe it matters to Jesus.

Unresolved. I'm not asking for answers, or looking for attention. I just had to get this out there. If any of you had doubts (though I highly doubt that's the case) that I was a regular, twisted soul like the rest of the world, now you are certain of it. Let me be clear: Jesus will provide the answer. He will give me peace and He will bring me through this. He just hasn't yet. Sometimes I think He likes to use these seasons to sift me so that I can be more like Him. He is good that way - at least He's using this junk for good. He is using it so that I will be stronger. He allows it so that He can build something in me. So that when all is said and done, I will be...

Unshaken.

4 comments:

Yessica said...

love it and love you.

Cassie said...

amazing.

i like the different kind of Katie blog that this post is.

and...
you are real great!

Eric and Lindsay said...

I can for sure relate. But thanks for the reminder that God works everything out for our good. Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

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