Saturday, March 14, 2009

A Brief Intermission

Who knew a pear could cause such excitement and such disappointment?

A little over a week ago I promised a post on a life-changing pear, and it never happened. I have been met with much scrutiny for this fact, and for that I apologize. It was absolutely my intention to post the pear, but sadly (as it often does) life intervened. The kind of life that leaves you without internet, without time and without a post.

I promise to post that pear for you tomorrow come hell or high water (what does that even mean???). But for now, if you'll allow me a brief intermission, I have something to else to say.

Those of you who faithfully read this blog (all two of you) will have noticed a change in my posts in October both in frequency and content. It wasn't that I had nothing to say, it wasn't that I was too busy, it wasn't that I lost interest. Quite the opposite actually - I had so much to say, but wasn't ready to say it yet, at least not to the world.

In October I lost my job. Now I know that in this economy, that is a sentence uttered far too often by far too many people. Losing a job means losing income, security, stability. But for me, it also meant losing part of my identity. I realized at the worst moment that so much of how I defined myself was wrapped up in my job. It has been a painful season in many ways, but also the kind of season - the brutal winter - that makes you believe spring will knock your socks off.

I wrote a post back in September that I looked at again today, and I looked back at my own flood season. And I am so amazed at how God was preparing me for it - for every hurt, every hardship He had an answer laid out in front of me. This one met me one October afternoon:

"By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"
-Romans 5:1-5 (The Message)

I spray-painted that verse on my soul and held it out for the enemy to observe. And you know what? I made it through. And I didn't just survive. Something was shaped and built in my life that cannot be shaken. Although this has been the most difficult year of my life, I wouldn't trade it - not for anything. And my identity? It is now free to be hidden in Christ like it was meant to be all along.

I know there are many people out there facing similar circumstances: losing jobs, losing loved ones, just losing. But I hope that this sparks in you the reminder that you will be standing right where you always hoped you would be - out in the wide open spaces of God's grace.


Tara Jeanette said...

I am one of your faithful readers. Love you! See you when I am home in April

Chris Earwicker said...

Dear friend,
As much as I was looking forward to, even longing for, your pear post, I have to say today's blog was well worth the interruption. Well-spoken, my friend, and I will add - well-lived. I'm proud of you.

Jenna said...

Katers. I am so honoured to be your friend and walk along this narrow yet delightfully adventurous path we find ourselves on. I am so proud of you. Well walked my friend. Love.