Monday, July 7, 2008

So Predictable

"Predictably Israel cries out, 'My God! We know You!' But they don't act like it."
~Hosea 8:2 (The Message)

My relationship with God was predictable. By this I do not mean consistent...I mean predictable. Meaning that the way I woke up, or the day I had in front of me determined whether or not God would have my attention.

I'm ashamed to say that it wasn't very long ago.

God would watch me wake up, observe my attitude, and note the obstacles and victories I would face. He probably turned to Gabriel and said, "Looks like we'll get to spend some time together today" or "Maybe tomorrow..."

I've always prioritized my relationship with God, or so I thought.

In my mind, I gave Him my whole life. I loved Him, I worshiped Him, I served Him. And even though I wasn't spending everyday in the Word, I trivialized it away, excusing myself by singing a worship song, or going to church. That "counted" right?

Israel lived the same way. They followed the rules, they made the sacrifices...but through all of that, they got to know their religion instead of their God. And when times got tough, they would cry out, saying, "We know You! Come help us!"

So predictable.

I see myself in the story of Hosea. Though my devotional life was hit or miss, when trials came I would cry out to God, saying, "I am Yours! I know You! Come help me!"

So predictable.

But then something changed. Maybe it was desperation, maybe it was frustration, but I got really sick of the person I was becoming. I began to realize in difficult times, that I didn't really know Him like I thought. And the well named Purpose inside of me began to beg. It begged me to get in the Word - everyday even when it was painful. It begged me to dig deeper than I had - to know myself and to know Jesus more than I had ever dared. It begged me to be really honest in my relationships - both with God and with people. It begged me to see beyond today, beyond next week. To see the generations that are coming, to see the injustice in the world, to cry with God, to know His heart.

To STOP being predictable. And I remembered:

"And this is real and eternal life: that they know You, the one and only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You sent." ~John 17:3 (The Message)

To know Him. To have conversations with Him. To figure out what is on His heart. To understand the Kingdom, and all that is within it. To live for justice. And the truly amazing thing is, that everyday I go to find Him, to know Him a little more. And everyday He is there: rain or shine, good mood or bad mood, sinful or righteous. He is there..."as surely as the arrival of the dawn."

I love that He is faithful. I love that He is so wonderfully mysterious, and predictable.


Jennifer said...

Its so predictable that you would wright something that speaks to exactly where I am in my life! I've gone through this very same thing, though its still in process for me. There has been a transition in my heart, like you were saying, a desperation for knowing Him. I prayed for a hunger and thirst for His word, and He gave me a starving spirit. It wasn't just that I didn't know Him like I thought, but that I didn't know Him like I thought I COULD! And the more I search for Him, and the more disciplined I get with devotions, the more He changes my heart and desires.
Thanks for sharing, you blessed my day! Can we have coffee again treat! Love you Katie.

Jenna said...

Well said Katers. I find myself hungering to know Him more and more too. Oh, I ache to understand His heart and let it penetrate mine.

Katie Scott said...

Jennifer - yes let's have coffee! I'm leaving for vacation this week, but I'll be back the 19th. Email me and we'll totally do it!

Jenna - Happy, so so happy to know you. P.S. I loved the George Costanza bit.