This Really Isn't My Style...

What I'm about to blog is not at all my style. I'm not really the let all your feelings out for all the world to see kind of girl. But for the next few sentences, I will be.

Unsettled. Do you ever feel that way? Like a baby being lifted out of it's crib, not knowing where it will end up. Back in the crib? In a parent's protective embrace? On the changing table? In the high chair? I feel that way now.

Unclear. There are so many changes stirring right now. Changes I wish I even remotely understood. But I don't. I feel like a puzzle piece trying to find its place in a constantly changing landscape. Perhaps - if the changes could relegate themselves to just one, or even two areas of my life - perhaps then I might be able to catch my breath, take a moment, renew my perspective. But no.

Uncomfortable. I love home. I love security. But I'm short on both right now. Compared to millions my discomfort is something they would trade for in a heartbeat. I know it's comparably small, but it matters to me. So I have to believe it matters to Jesus.

Unresolved. I'm not asking for answers, or looking for attention. I just had to get this out there. If any of you had doubts (though I highly doubt that's the case) that I was a regular, twisted soul like the rest of the world, now you are certain of it. Let me be clear: Jesus will provide the answer. He will give me peace and He will bring me through this. He just hasn't yet. Sometimes I think He likes to use these seasons to sift me so that I can be more like Him. He is good that way - at least He's using this junk for good. He is using it so that I will be stronger. He allows it so that He can build something in me. So that when all is said and done, I will be...

Unshaken.

Dad

Today is my dad's 59th birthday. That, in and of itself, is a crazy fact. Somehow my dad has stayed a solid 40 years old in my mind, until today when I actually did the math. He is an amazing husband and father and I have learned so much from him. Here are a few things:

• How to change a tire. He wouldn't let me drive my car until I'd changed my tire 5 times. Turned out to be helpful...many, many times.
• How to build a house. Namely, my house. Okay, so maybe not the whole house. Okay, so he just let me help. Okay, so I mostly watched. Okay, I suck. Sorry, dad.
• How to work hard. My parents are the hardest workers I know.
• How to ride a horse.
• How to manage thick, curly hair. I got it from him and he's got a rockin' fro!

My relationship with my dad wasn't the greatest in my teen years, probably because we're very alike! We're both passionate and opinionated...even to our detriment. And we both stand up for what we believe in. Oh and did I mention I was a jerk in high school? Anyway, last year my dad was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. It's funny how moments like that can strip away all frills and seeming importance and boil a relationship down to one thing: I love my dad. I love him with all my heart. I love that he's a die hard Raiders fan. I love that he loves my mom. I love that he cried at my brother's wedding. I love the way he eats popcorn. I love my dad.

Dad, I know you don't read my blog (what???). But mom does. And when she prints this out and reads it to you, I hope you know how very much I love you. And if I could wish anything for you today...it would be that you would get the big cup. (Long story...)

Happy Birthday, Dad!

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P.S. This is my 50th post! Yay me!

He Answered

Have you ever looked at the overwhelming statistics that exist in our world today?

• Every 15 seconds, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
• Every day 5760 more children become orphans
• Every year 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone!)

143,000,000 orphans in the world today spend an average of 10 years in an orphanage or foster home, but...

Every 2.2 seconds, another orphan child ages out of the system with no family and no place to call home. So, by the time you are done reading this blog, about 23 orphans will be homeless. Many of them get trapped as sex slaves, and the cycle continues.

It's overwhelming, and difficult to know how to help. But you CAN help. I CAN help.

Many months ago, my friend, Bo Stern, looked at these statistics and asked God possibly the greatest question that can be asked: "What can I do?" And He answered. Big. Many of you will read her blog and learn about Amani. But if I can get this to even one person she can't, that's powerful.

Want to know more? You should! Click here.

My Job

I get paid to be here.



I get paid to eat this for dinner



And this for breakfast!



I get paid to work with these amazing women


And these awesome guys



I get paid to wake up to this



And this



And to hang out with these weirdos



And to climb this :(



I get paid to watch young adults have their lives changed.

I get paid to be here.

And tomorrow maybe I won't. But for now, I'm really grateful for where God has placed me. And not just that I get paid to do it - because let's face it, I'd do it anyway - but because 15 people that surrender their lives to God can change the lives of 15 million. And that's not a hopeful dream, it's a fact. And I'm reminded that serving Jesus is a REALLY good life!

Stay tuned for more stories from CLC Encounter!

My exciting night

So, last night I found out that Coldplay was coming to Westside Church to do a concert. They decided to do one West Coast show and we were it! You can imagine my excitement when Chris Martin walked through the door of the church...which actually looked like a very strange attic. Huh. Anyway, the band came through and a few of my friends and I were there to greet them. Being in leadership at Westside Church, we were charged with helping them set up.

The date was June 15th...huh. Anyway, being that it was June 15th I made the remark that having Coldplay come was such a great birthday treat. Well Chris overheard me and said, "I didn't know it was your birthday! We're going to have to do something special." He then proceeded to tell me that for my birthday, he would fly me to New York City on his private jet! I said a very small "thank you" and then rested my head on my friend's shoulder and cried a little.

Why was I crying? Well, I want to go to New York City more than anything in the world - and the fact that of all places, Chris Martin picked that...huh. Well, it was just an overwhelming happiness and I didn't know what else to do. Of course he asked what was wrong, and my friend, Mekenzie told him about my deep love for NYC. So he upped the ante. He got me a private session on the Rockefeller Center Ice Rink and more things that I just can't remember.

All in all, it was the greatest night of my life. Huh.

Moving...and an update

I moved on Sunday. I wasn't expecting to, but an opportunity for a cute little yellow house with a balcony presented itself, and I just couldn't pass it up. It's a great little place, and sooo much better than the place we were before.
But there was just one problem: moving. I hate moving. It is one of my least favorite things in the entire world. The process of neatly packing everything up, just to drive a little ways and unpack is so frustrating and exhausting!

Also, I have really weak arms - did I mention that? Well they are uncharacteristically weak - very unlike my friend, Lindsay, who is freakishly strong. It's true - don't mess with her.


As I was getting things ready to move, I stopped just for a moment and considered calling it off. That's how much I hate moving. But you know what motivated me to keep going? A new balcony. Washer/dryer hookups. Two bathrooms. More than one outlet. A dishwasher. The place I was going to was so much better than the place I was leaving. And I knew it.

But what if I didn't?

There is not a chance that you could get me to move somewhere I'd never seen. No way, no how. What if my new place had no outlets? What if I had to share a room with a girl named Helga (no offense to you Helgas out there)? Without knowing where I was moving to, the work would not be worth it. It would be too great a risk.


And then I realized: God asks me to do that all the time. He asks me to pack up my mindsets, my neatly organized perceptions, my comfortable ways of doing things, and asks me to move them into a better place. Somewhere that they will be challenged and changed. The catch is that I've never seen that place...but He has. And suddenly my battle is not with the work it takes to move, but with my faith in who God is. Because if I really believe that He is good, then He will take me to a good place - even if it is hard to get there. But too often I've dreaded the task of moving, and missed out on God's plan for me.

Change can be intimidating, seasons are shifting, and moving sucks...but God is good.

"Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of His praise be heard. He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For You, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but You brought us to a place of abundance." - Psalm 66:8-12 (NIV - UK)

I long for the faith it takes to get to the place of abundance. Don't you?
_______________________________________________________

UPDATE: There was an ornament hook, a few pens, a highlighter, crumbs, 7 cents, and a receipt in my couch cushions.

God save me from my own twisted brain

I woke up this morning thinking about a lot of things:

• Orphans
• Money
• What my laugh sounds like to other people
• If I'll get my laundry done today

AND...

• What is in my couch cushions.

Yes, I know - I'm sick. I have a severe problem. My brain gets shut off for 8 hours, and suddenly the alarm rings and it goes into overdrive. And even worse is that then I started thinking about what could be in your couch cushions! Oh, God save me from my own twisted brain indeed!

So if you could help me out and tell me what is in your couch cushions, I think there could be hope. That giant question could be set aside and room could be made for much more important questions, like: What is under your bed?

Oh no! There I go again...

Why Computers Are Sissies

So, my computer has been having a hard time lately. It all started one winter day, not so very long ago. I would like to make this small disclaimer - that my computer was purchased in the ancient time of 2003, so it's bound to have issues anyway. That being said... It was a beautiful winter day - the kind of day you want to just sit by a fireplace and read and nap all day long.


On this particular day, I was at Backporch enjoying a delicious coffee beverage and was joined by a friend (who shall remain nameless). On snowy days, sometimes coffee just doesn't cut it. Sometimes you need something a little more comforting...something like tea...tea with honey. Anyway, you can guess what happened next - the tea somehow fell in love with my computer and decided to give it a little smooch...okay the entire cup of tea was poured onto my computer. And since that day it has had...issues.


Needless to say, the days of the beautiful blue Dell Inspiron are over. It has gotten to the point where I can no longer handle it. But here's the thing. I've had tea with honey spilled on me. I've been dropped. I've been shut down. But you don't see me slowing down or shutting off - refusing to get the job done.



Oh no, I press on dear friends. I press on. I don't give up, and I don't quit doing what I was created to do. No matter what information I have to download, or what errors I face, I am faithful to continue on.

And that, my friends, is why computers are sissies.